When we decided to start our Buoy Blog we had to pick an activity that would go with the theme of the week. We have also some stories, like Kathleen’s Detour about a friend in college.
For this week, we were puzzled. What could possibly go with an emotional blackmail article? What would be our answer?
Then, we remembered that one of the main ideas to get out of the influence of a blackmailer was to refuse to be a victim anymore. What is the best way to learn to choose not to be one?
Self defense class!
Now that we said it, we had to sign up for a class.
My idea of a self-defense type of class was: strong guy with his sleeves full with muscles, shouting and able to send a man against the wall with the blink of his eye. “Check my Terminator style” and “Hasta la vista Baby” kind of guy!
I know my comfort zone . It is far away from that. I am the fairy tale kind of woman. I grew up with cartoons and stories that described the girl character always at her best. In one, she is hunted by a serial killer, ending up in the woods, finishing her run as the housekeeper of a bunch of dwarfs, then falling asleep, and being woken up by Prince charming. In another, she fell into an opiate sleep after doing some housework, and had to wait for Prince Charming to kill the evil witch and wake her up. We have heard those stories thousand times.
I kept from these stories the house cleaning part –which if I had a choice, I would switch for the sleeping part,– and the Prince Charming. My husband can be a Prince, and can be charming, but he cannot be both at the same time very often.
Us, women, were raised with the idea that we should stay busy cleaning or sleeping (what else are those doing who stay home?) while the Princes Charming are fighting for us. What show offs!
When our teacher started the Self Defense class saying “Choose not to be a victim,” he took me by surprise. Generally, nobody chooses to be one. Mostly, we don’t think of ourselves like that. I am not always an easygoing person, and I can fight some fights. However, I have to admit, sometimes I don’t know how to react, and I can pick the passive way.
So, we learned how to scream, strike, break a grip, and to escape. You can find more details about self-defense techniques here.
For Kathleen and me, it wasn’t about being Lara Croft with shy muscles, but being able to answer energetically to any sort of aggression. Most of the others ladies were here to learn how to protect themselves too.
At first, we were really shy when we had to kick the pad the teachers were holding. But, they were pushing us to be more hostile, and it felt weird to act that way toward these friendly men. The scream, for example, was more out of our comfort zone than we could imagine. Try to yell into the face of a nice, gentle man who has done nothing wrong to you. Hard, no?
Before becoming superheroes, we will need more practice, but it is a good start. We can continue our journey out of our comfort zone with self-confidence. We are not victims anymore. We are heroes in the making.