There are plenty of good reasons to be frustrated. A long line at a counter while the other two are closed; coworkers who are too slow or unreliable; a person yelling at us without us knowing why; a traffic jam…you can add yours.
Frustration is an emotion we feel when we cannot fulfill a will. We expect something to happen, a situation to be easier, a person to act a certain way, and when it is not happening we are angry, disappointed, or frustrated. In most cases, we can deal with frustration. It can even give us the energy to focus on a problem and solve it. However, in some situations, we can feel powerless. It is like a barrier standing between our goals and us. Sometimes, we are ready to attack this barrier physically or verbally, or even both.
When screaming, crying and stomping your feet on the floor are not an option, you can try different ways to help release your frustration:
1- You can breathe deeply. Close your eyes. Concentrate on your breathing by inhaling and exhaling the air in your lungs.
2- Look at the situation from another perspective. Is it that bad? It is? Okay so what should be the proper response?
If you are in a line waiting to get some paperwork, and you are too tired to wait, you know that you can yell and argue with the person in charge. When you give even a minuscule amount of power to people, they will go to0 far using it. Well, is it really against you, the personal you? We can guess that this person is doing a job she/he gets paid for. We can be sure that he/she is not making the rule she/he is applying so seriously . In your job you don’t like someone to criticize your work; odds are that this person doesn’t like it either.
So breathe, and try to see this situation from his or her point of view. We know it can be very hard –sometimes it seems impossible! So breathe deeply. Again. Do it for you. That’s right!
3- Are your expectations too high?
We don’t leave in a perfect world. That’s good news. We are not perfect either.
We all would love to live in a bubble where relationships are easy, people are nice and everybody is acting the way we expect them to act. Pop this bubble, the world is full of wonder and we cannot refuse it because we are fearful or impatient. Things happen, people are the way they are, and we cannot change that. However, we can certainly change the way we react to situations.
4- To bear frustration you can write down the things that frustrate you, and, when you are peaceful, write down how to correct them.
For example, to deal with impatience, give yourself more time to do things. Plan ahead to avoid too much stress and keep your eyes on the clock.
5- Start a new activity that helps you release frustration. The Buoy List gives you some ideas. This week we tried Emotional Freedom Technique (E.F.T.). – a surprising way to get rid of tension. You can learn about E.F.T. and read our experience here.
Just one more thing- when a day is not going the way you planned it, don’t think that the whole world is against you. It has better concerns than spoiling your day.
We end with the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson :
“At times the whole world seems to be in conspiracy to importune you with emphatic trifles. Friend, client, child, sickness, fear, want, charity, all knock at once at thy closet door and say,—’Come out unto us.’ But keep thy state; come not into their confusion. The power men possess to annoy me I give them by a weak curiosity. No man can come near me but through my act.”
Kathleen and Florence
The Buoy Bloggers