Grief is certainly the most personal emotion a person can feel. To someone in a deep sadness, we say, “I understand,” “I share your pain,” but we don’t know. In mourning, we are alone. The way I would deal with the death of someone I love is different from anybody else’s experience.
There is no right or wrong answer. In the article by Alisa Bowman, “Out of grieving, Grace,” in Spirituality & Health magazine, I found some solutions to appease the dreadful pain of losing a loved one.
We have to be patient. Grieving needs time. Our previous life is shattered, and we need to start a new one. Without this person, it is useless to try to control the grief. Grief is like waves on the beach; it goes back and forth with various forces, and nothing can stop it.
We just can learn to live with it.
I liked these ways to remember our love ones, and give back when we just want to shut ourselves away. Maybe, you will like them too:
1. My favorite is to write a letter to the person we miss. We can write all the things we never got the chance to say and are heavy on our heart. Then, we set the letter on fire and watching the volute of smoke rising in the air helps us visualize our words reaching their addressees wherever they are.
2. We can light a candle in a place we cherish and has meaning to us.
3. Planting a tree or a plant is also a way to honor a person and carry on the cycle of life.
4. On the birthday of the person we loved, we can give to his/her favorite charity.
5. I like also the idea of simply being kind and dedicate it to the memory of the person we miss.
When my aunt died, I was sad and upset because I could not go to the funeral, and I never got the chance to say goodbye to her. On the day of her funeral, I went to the bank of a lake close to my house. I sat on the grass alone. It was a bright day, and a vivid light was caressing the water. The air was crystalline and I could feel the warmth of the sun on my face. I closed my eyes, breathed deeply, and I seized the moment. I started to think about my aunt. I had these living memories of her with her giant smile and the twinkling eyes. I talked to her, trying to tell her how much I was sorry not to be at her funeral, and personal things never said when people were around . I didn’t move for a while, enjoying this peaceful and precious moment. Then, I opened my eyes. A white cloud crossed the sky driven by a sweet wind. Afar, a bird whistled to answer the call of his partner. I felt at peace and serene. We had our goodbyes.