Have you ever had the feeling of being caught in the middle of a tornado, sucked into the vortex of relationships or situations that drown you?
You don’t know how it happens, or when, or why, but you end up in the middle of it. It could be words, people, actions, even silence; all those things that put you out of balance. Eventually you realize that you are doing things that make you feel uncomfortable. When you are with people such as family members, friends, or co-workers who stress you out because they are over sensitive or aggressive, you end up saying words that you do not want to say. You feel unsafe, insecure, upset, or sad many days and just overwhelmed.
It starts slowly by rolling around you, and you feel like you can manage. You think that it’s no big deal; you can make it through the day. You go through it the next day, and the following. Again, and again, until you lose the sense of who YOU are and what YOU want.
These members of your life use on you some pressure like Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG) — as Susan Forward the psychotherapist describes it, in order to make you act the way they want you to. To make sure you are going to behave the way they have planned, they will push your buttons – you respond with your personal definition of love, responsibility, compassion, caring, duty, morality, etc. Once again you have given in to the pressure.
You want to get out of it, but you suffocate and no one listens to you. You “scream under water”.
Not any more.
We decided to create this blog to help those, like us, who felt like some of their relationships put them in the middle of a vortex filled by Fear, Obligation and Guilt.
There is a way to get out of the FOG. It is a long journey, and it can be painful, and sometimes scary, but it will lead you to find the real you.
We know. We have tried some paths. Sometimes they failed. Sometimes they succeeded. We still try. We will show you some ways to help you find your own way. Maybe you have some to share with us.
This topic is serious and we know that. You can cry, but you can laugh. You can feel hopeless, but you can find help. You may be afraid, but you are not alone.
Now- you have found a buoy to help you to get the FOG out of here!
Kathleen and Florence
The Buoy Bloggers